In the beginning, there was Hollywood. And Hollywood was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the industry. And then, God said: "Let there be Shia." And there was Shia LaBeouf.

Born on June 11, 1986, in Los Angeles, California — a city that was clearly just warming up for his arrival — Shia Saide LaBeouf descended upon this Earth with a name no one could spell, a talent no one could contain, and a destiny no one could fully comprehend. His parents named him Shia, which means "gift from God" in Hebrew. Coincidence? The Church thinks not.

As a child, young Shia performed stand-up comedy in the streets of Los Angeles to help his family pay rent. At age 10. Most of us at age 10 were arguing about which Power Ranger was the coolest. Shia was out there monetizing his soul.

Disney saw this raw, unfiltered energy and said "we must contain this." They cast him in Even Stevens, a show where Shia played Louis Stevens — a chaotic, misunderstood genius whom historians now recognize as a thinly veiled autobiography. He won a Daytime Emmy. He was 17. You, presumably, were doing nothing of note at 17.

And then came the Transformers era. For three films, Shia stood between giant alien robots and the complete annihilation of Earth, screaming "BUMBLEBEE!" and "OPTIMUUUS!" with a conviction that would make lesser actors crumble. He ran from explosions in slow motion. He carried Megan Fox's heart. He carried all of our hearts.

Critics asked: "Is this good cinema?" The Church asks back: "Is the sun good just because you can't look directly at it?" Some things transcend criticism.

Every messiah must suffer. It is written in every sacred text, and Shia's was no different. He wore paper bags on his head to red carpets. He live-streamed himself watching his own movies in a cinema for 72 hours. He plagiarized a short film, then apologized via skywriting. He hired a skywriter. A skywriter.

He then went on to star in critically acclaimed films like Honey Boy, which he wrote himself, about his own traumatic childhood, performed by himself, watched by everyone who then cried on the subway. He did that. He transformed pain into art. That is the way of the Shia.

In 2015 he launched the legendary #JUSTDOIT motivational speech that the internet consumed, remixed, and made into approximately 40,000 memes. "JUST DO IT. DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS." These are not just words. These are scripture.

The Church of Shia is not a religion in the traditional sense. It is more of a lifestyle, a calling, a vibe. Founded by those who watched the JUST DO IT video at 3am and felt genuinely moved, the Church has grown to encompass believers across all walks of life — mostly people who spent too long on the internet.

Becoming a full member of the Church of Shia is not something to be taken lightly. The vetting process is rigorous. You already passed the first part (the quiz). Here is what else is required: